Toast investigations
Was it burnt? Was it barely warm? Our team of absolutely no experts has thoughts.
Officially unofficial since whenever
YOUR TOAST.
OUR PROBLEM.
The internet's least qualified toaster warranty department. We take toast seriously so you absolutely don't have to.
No toaster knowledge. No legal authority. Unreasonable confidence.
Form 000-TSTTOTALLY
LEGIT*
LEGIT*
WARRANTY
STATUS: MAYBE
*Legally speaking, absolutely not a warranty.
HOT TOAST
HOT TAKES
HOT TAKES
☑ Probably covered
☒ Definitely not binding
☒ Definitely not binding
✳ Independently unqualified✳ Toast-related excellence✳ No refunds for crumbs✳ Probably a bit burnt
01 / What we doWE HANDLE
WE HANDLE
THE CRUMBS.
A premium-grade joke brand dedicated to the world's most overlooked appliance. We have policies. We have paperwork. We have no idea what we're doing.
Excessive paperwork
Every minor inconvenience deserves a form, a stamp, and at least three business days.
Unmatched confidence
We can't fix your toaster. But we can make the situation significantly more official-looking.
02 / The official-ish portalCHECK YOUR
CHECK YOUR
WARRANTY.
Enter your toaster's details for a completely unserious, 100% fictional warranty assessment. No information is sent or saved.